When you first got married (possibly even before), you were surely told by many to be sure you keep dating your spouse. Don’t let the kids become the focal point. Have a date night regularly. You know the drill.
But, as you are married longer and kids come into the picture, you probably also quickly realized that keeping this advice is much easier said than done. Moms do not have endless energy. By nighttime, we are bone tired. Bank accounts are also not limitless and outings are becoming more and more expensive! Not to mention the going rate for babysitters!
If you are feeling the weight of wanting to follow this advice to keep dating your spouse (there is certainly wisdom in it), but you also feel the constraints of energy, time and money cramping your style, you are not alone! It is common to feel conflicted and want the date nights but struggle to make it a reality.
So, what if you reimagined Date Night and gave yourselves more grace and latitude to do it in a way that works for you? Take the pressure off of Date Night which can get expensive, needs a sitter, and requires more energy than you have left at the end of the day! Think more about dating your spouse how and when it works best for the two of you and find Date Experiences that keep you connected but can happen anytime, anywhere.
Takeout and a Movie
One of my favorites, because it can be done in sweats with a messy bun, is an at-home date. Feed the kids an easy dinner but you and your partner hold off on eating. Get the kids cleaned up and do your whole evening ritual — bonus points if you are doing it all earlier than usual and kids will have an early bedtime! Then cozy up on the couch with your partner and your favorite take out (you can actually eat a hot meal!) and a movie of your choosing. You can reconnect and enjoy watching something that didn’t have to be approved by the children. You can also up the date-like nature of it if you eat dinner at the table with candles first and have plenty of good conversation before starting the movie.
Lunch Date
While this still involves going out of the house and possibly getting a little more dolled up than your around-the-house attire, if your kids are of school age (or you can arrange a playdate with friends), this option at least eliminates the need for a babysitter and often times can save you money as many restaurants offer cheaper lunch menus. Coordinate lunch hours with your partner, pick a place you love and meet up for a lunch date!
Cooking Class
Classes can cost just as much as a date you thought you couldn’t afford, but the nice thing about classes is they can be purchased ahead of time as a birthday, Christmas or anniversary gift and then redeemed whenever you are ready to schedule them. Many adults are hard to buy gifts for because they need or want less physical stuff, so classes make a great gift. If your kids are school age and your work schedule is flexible, you could try to arrange a class while kids are in school. If the class must be on the weekends or some time kids are not in school, weekend days tend to be easier to set up a play date with friends so you can skip the babysitter. Bonus – you and the friends can swap offering play dates so they can have a date experience too! Sur La Table is a great place to start if you’re not sure where to look.
Hiking
Completely free and able to be scheduled at your convenience, going on a hike just you and your partner is a great way to stay connected. You can plan your hike whenever your kids are already taken care of, go during the day before you’re exhausted at night, and you get some much-needed fresh air! If you’re accustomed to hiking with noisy littles, it’ll be an even bigger bonus to hike with only your partner and listen to the peaceful quiet of nature. Find a quiet spot along the hike to just sit for a while. You’ll stay connected plus come back home refreshed from some quiet time.
Date Night in a Box
If you don’t mind the idea of connecting with your partner at night but you are running out of ideas, or you’ve done takeout and a movie one too many times, there are mail-order subscription services that you can pay for to send you fresh ideas periodically. It costs money but it doesn’t require a babysitter! This could be another great gift idea if you two never quite know what gifts to buy each other. Date Night In Box is one such possibility but others exist and can be found with an easy internet search. Find the one that looks interesting to you and help your evenings be more fun than just falling asleep on the couch!
