I gave myself the day off…
…and I’m not sorry.
There is one day each week I don’t have kids in tow. My middle schooler is at school as usual and the two I homeschool are at their hybrid program. So, naturally, I try to be as productive as one can possibly be in six hours (silly me to call it a day to myself!). I try to do my writing, do housework, run errands alone. You know the drill.
It almost feels wrong (correction: it absolutely feels wrong) to just sit down. Or read. Or nap (gasp!). Isn’t that lazy?! Am I wasting my day six hours? That’s sure how it feels it would be perceived if I were to tell someone that’s how I spent my time…
Yet, moms need to work in self-care – on good days but especially in hard seasons. (And definitely during the holidays!)
I’m not particularly good at that. I’m pretty terrible about it, in fact. But this particular day, I almost couldn’t help it.
We were in a stressful season. A season of wondering if we were about to need to sell our house and move (and knew our kids were not happy with that idea) but couldn’t get a definitive answer so we were waiting in that uncomfortable limbo. One of my kiddos was in an especially challenging season, leaving me wanting to pull out my hair multiple times a day, and I was completely out of fresh ideas so we were both exhausted. Another child was enduring a “mean kid” and processing that with her was tough. And then, of course, there was just the general busyness associated with life that would leave me physically tired on its own, let alone everything else.
As you can probably tell, I was well on my way to a crash and burn.
Have you heard the illustration that’s been floating around lately about spilling your coffee? Its point being, that if you spill your coffee, you spilled coffee because that’s what was in your cup. If you’d had lemonade in your cup, even if you were bumped into, you’d spill lemonade. So, what’s in your cup? If life gets bumpy, and your cup (your heart) spilled, what’s inside?
Well, let’s just say I’d started to get a glimpse that my heart was not full of lemonade. While I hadn’t totally dumped out my heart’s contents on anyone (yet), when I’d been nudged or rushed and little bits had leaked out, I could tell whatever was in my cup was not good, and if I spilled, I’d be spilling YUCK everywhere!
I knew, somehow, I had to decompress. I had to exchange whatever toxic drink was in my cup for something more pleasant. Because life is going to get bumpy, problems ARE going to push me. But I don’t want to be toxic to those around me.
So, on that day, as I returned home from dropping my kids at school, the house quiet except for my excited dog welcoming me home, I put away my to-do list and went upstairs. I got back under the covers (which felt even better than I remembered) and let myself doze off for another 30 minutes or so. When I woke up, I had thought I’d get to work, but I spied my book on my nightstand that I’d barely read in a month and decided to let myself reach for it. I stayed snuggled up in my covers for a couple of hours just enjoying a book. It felt like the utmost luxury.
As my day continued on in a similar fashion, doing nothing other than whatever I wanted in a given moment, I was reminded of just how important days like that are. They aren’t selfish. In fact, it was the best thing I could’ve done for my family that day.
It was quite literally a mental health “sick day.” Those days aren’t lazy.
They’re life-giving.
If we moms don’t ever take a day off or refill our tanks sometimes, we are no good to anyone. I know we hear it all the time, and it’s still so much easier said than done. But if we’re going to be the best versions of ourselves, we must remove the stigma of a day off and embrace filling our souls. It doesn’t just make us better moms. It makes us better humans.
And guess what?! When I spontaneously gave myself a day off, nothing spun out of control and everything was able to be finished later. I’m not sorry I had that very unproductive day… it was actually the best decision I could’ve made.
